Thursday, April 4, 2013

Hey guys! I hope you don't mind me posting an hour early from my day. I'm having a bad night so... Why not? Though I will say, I'm starting to feel awkward just talking about myself on a group blog. :p. I hope you ladies are okay.

Unfortunately my cardiology appointment for tomorrow was cancelled on their end, and it was a re'schedule because they cancelled the last appointment as well, and it's already been six months since my last cardiology check up so I'm kind of stressed about it, but we're going to try to get in with a local cardiologist and if all the man does is give me an echo, I'll be pleased for the temporary check that things are still okay. Last time the cardiologist pointed out things we already knew about my heart but when they give even just a tiny bit of importance to a defect it makes you a little bit nervous, y'all know what I'm sayin'?

I'm sitting here with things in mind to say but can't remember the timeline in which they happened so I don't know if they were in my last post... Ahhh ha. Like I've said this time of year isn't good for me, but I've also pushed myself- a lot. As you ladies know what I mean, I don't wanna live my life from bed, I want to get out and do things even if it has a physical cost. Just as "they" (whoever they are!) say, do you want to live dying, or die living? My dad translated that to help me verbalize my feelings about pushing myself. Do I want to live sick, or be sick and live? Hopefully y'all get that and I didn't already say that before (that conversation was months ago, but feeling these heavier consequences for my choices to push than recently is challenging that thought). I want to live! Even if just for one day of activities for the expense of a week in bed. I want to live. Not that you can't live from bed, I had begin the journey to be content with that and encourage others so be. Sometimes when you are bed bound, pushing like that is simply not an option when walking to the bathroom gives you PVC's, and I encourage those who are still more often like that than not, to make the most of your life, because it is still valuable! And those that can push to sit on the couch with your family instead of laying in your bed, I encourage you to do it! :)

Alright, enough of my musings about pushing, until next time,
Hang in there!

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